Sports
Top Things We WISH Tiger Had Said in His Press Conference
Feb 20th
–Heard any good jokes lately???
–All I will confirm is yes, it’s huge.
–Hey, ho in the front row. You wearing panties?
–Beyoncé had the best video of all time!
–Elin, you complete me.
–If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s skanky white chicks.
–Right now I’m imaging each of you having sex with Derek Jeter.
–Tell you what, Elin is lucky my name isn’t Chris Brown.
–I’m anxious to put this behind me . . . but not as anxious as I am to put “THIS” behind Rachel Uchitel!
–Pants on the ground, pants on the ground . . . I’m lookin’ like a fool with my pants on the ground.
–Yes, I am the father of Tila Tequila’s baby.
–I’m not taking questions from you guys . . . but I will let you smell my fingers.
–Driver??? I barely knew her!
–Cadillac can suck it. I’m only one-quarter black, anyway.
–I would now like to change my name from Tiger to Rooster . . . get it, Rooster? Cause of my . . . never mind.
–The funny thing? Most the girls I nailed STILL had smaller boobs than Phil Mickelson.
–NOW can I play guard for the Lakers?
–I will not be taking questions from any reporters who are black women.
–None of this would have happened if Elin was open to a little back-door lovin’.
–What the hell was John Edwards thinking?!?
–I think I’m proof that the way to ensure your kid grows up happy and well-adjusted is to glue a putter to his hands before he can walk.
–I’m very sorry . . . that I got caught! I’m an effin’ horn dog!
–Gosh, are all the golf fans watching ME right now? Sorry, Accenture!
–Hey, at least I’m not reading from notes on my hand.
2010 Opening Ceremonies Drinking Game
Feb 17th
-
Take a drink:
-When announcers mention the lack of snow in Vancouver -
-At any fashion analysis of the Team USA Opening Ceremony uniforms -
-At any reference to Miracle or the 1980 US Hockey team -
-If any Mounties show up -
-When any orphaned athlete from a formerly-Communist country is featured -
-Any time the words “Flying Tomato” are said -
-Every time Bode Miller looks like he’s suffering from oxygen-deprivation -
-Any time Sven Kramer (my personal pick for Hottest Olympian of 2010) gets a close u -
-At any euphemism for Johnny Weir’s sexuality -
-When the announcers reference the “intimidating” Beijing Opening Ceremonies -
-Whenever someone says “Saskatchewan” -
-When Celine Dion pounds her chest -
Take a shot:
-At any Tonya Harding reference -
-If Shania Twain sings something Canadian -
-When someone tries to explain Canada’s political system -
Chug/finish your drink:
-If Pedobear makes a mascot appearance - -At any reference to the Bobsledding Wardrobe Malfunction
-
-If Rufus Wainwright is at all involved -
-If any polar bears show up -
Bonus Olympic Torch Lightning Round!
Take the indicated number of sips should any of the following Canadians be the Official Torch-Lighter (or the Final Torch Bearer? Whatever, you know what I mean. The 2010 Muhammad Ali.) -
WHO DAT?!?!
Feb 7th
The New Orleans Saints just won the SUPER BOWL!! Can’t be in NOLA tonight? Watch the madness online @ http://www.earthcam.com/usa/louisiana/neworleans/bourbonstreet/?cam=catsmeow2
Crimson Tide Wins the BCS Championship (AUDIO)
Jan 8th
Last night was the BCS National Championship Game between Alabama and Texas. Early in the first quarter, Texas quarterback Colt McCoy injured his shoulder. He had to come out, so the back-up, freshman Garrett Gilbert, came in. He did okay, but Alabama took an early lead. Then Texas crawled back to within three in the fourth quarter. But Gilbert fumbled inside Alabama’s 10 yard line with three minutes left in the game, and that sealed the win for the Crimson Tide. Alabama won the game 37 to 21. This only means that we will be hearing a lot of RTRing this next year and will NEVER hear the end of it!
Here is a montage of the first half:
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Montage of second half:
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
The NBA Suspended Gilbert Arenas Indefinitely For Bringing A Gun Into The Locker Room
Jan 7th
Washington Wizards guard, Gilbert Arenas, is being investigated for admittedly bringing guns into his team’s locker room. NBA Commissioner David Stern had been waiting to see what authorities said, but then Arenas joked about it on Twitter. So yesterday, Stern announced that Arenas will be suspended indefinitely, without pay. Here’s a report from ESPN. (From “SportsCenter” on Wednesday, January 6, 2010.)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Tiger Woods Documents Relseased -TMZ
Dec 7th
The Florida Highway Patrol wanted to get a blood test from Tiger Woods after the crash, because a witness told them Tiger was boozing earlier in the day — this according to new documents obtained by TMZ.
FHP had requested Tiger’s blood sample, after a witness — we’re told his wife — “stated that the driver had consumed alcohol earlier in the day and the same witness removed the driver from the vehicle after the collision.”
The document continues, “The same witness stated that the driver was prescribed medication (Ambien and Vicatin [sic]}.”
As we first reported, it was Elin Nordegren who pulled Tiger from the crash and told cops he had taken medicine (but she didn’t know when) and even brought the pill bottles to the EMTs.
The document concludes, “Impairment of the driver is also suspected due to the careless driving that resulted in the traffic crash.”
Ultimately, the FHP’s request for the blood sample was denied, on grounds of insufficient evidence to issue a subpoena.
The FHP has determined alcohol was not a factor.
-TMZ
Tiger Woods- The 911 Call
Nov 30th
I have been avoiding blogging about this since everyone and their mother has been doing it. BUT..In case you haven’t heard, Tiger Woods had a rough holiday weekend. He crashed his S.U.V. into a fire hydrant and a tree on Thanksgiving night while he was pulling out of his driveway, and he apparently cut his face up pretty badly. But there are also rumors that Tiger’s wife caught him cheating with a New York club hostess named Rachel Uchitel, and that the scratches on his face were the result of a fight. So far, Tiger has completely denied those rumors. After the crash, Tiger’s neighbor called 911.
Here’s audio from the call.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Plaxico Burress Sentenced to TWO YEARS
Sep 23rd
Last November, New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the right thigh while he was hanging out at a nightclub in New York. Three days later, Burress turned himself in to the police after he was charged with criminal possession of a handgun. New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg immediately pushed for Plaxico to get a mandatory two years in prison for the offense, and last month, Plaxico was indicted by a grand jury.
Well, yesterday Plaxico was sentenced to two years in prison, which was expected. He was taken to jail immediately after the sentencing and won’t get out until spring of 2011 at the earliest.
[podcast]http://twiggins.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/ORIGINAL-COMEDY-Plaxico-Mexico-Parody.mp3[/podcast]
Miami Dolphins New Fight Song Ft……
Aug 11th
…..T. Pain DUH!
The Miami Dolphins have a new fight song that will play every time they score a touchdown . . . and it features T-Pain. It’s a remake of the fight song from the Dolphins 1972 season (–the year they went 17-0).
Here’s the new version:
[podcast]http://twiggins.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/MIAMIFIGHTSONG.mp3[/podcast]
And Here is the Original:
[podcast]http://twiggins.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/orig-miami.mp3[/podcast]
Erin Andrews PEEPER! Videos Inside. !!WARNING MATURE CONTENT!!
Jul 25th
So in order to blog about this SCANDAL, I had to watch the videos right? I mean its not perverted if its investigative reporting. So I watched them and….. you can’t she shit first of all, and second of all they are .flv files so you need VLC to view them. There are 8 videos, some of which she is curling her hair, and some she is ironing. Some stills are attached, AS WELL AS THE .FLV VIDEOS. She is pissed about these videos, but many ESPN viewers around the world are in no way upset about this “mistake”. Apparently someone drilled a peephole in her hotel room and used it to film her. My question is… who irons naked? Some are saying it is staged, but i’m not so sure. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
PICTURES CTSY NYPOST
